1.    Believe in Yourself

“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t—you’re right.” —Henry Ford

To succeed in life you must first believe in yourself, your abilities to get the job done and know with all your being that you can do it. Without this belief you will allow the naysaying public to keep you from your goals and dreams. They mean well. They are just trying to keep you from the pain of failing. This says more about their belief system than it says about yours. But if you allow them to influence your beliefs, now it says everything about yours as well.

I remember when I first knew I was going to be the National Spokesperson for Catherines Plus Sizes. I had never heard of the company but a friend thought I was a perfect fit for them. Unbeknownst to me she set up a meeting in Memphis. She called me and told me she felt very strongly about it and when I said I had never heard of them she said “I know this is right—trust me.” Well it didn’t feel right to me. While I had been a plus size model, I was not an expert in the arena of fashion. I was an expert on self-esteem but—I did trust her hunches.  

She called me on a Saturday and she had scheduled the meeting for Thursday. We tried to get flights out but between my schedule and the available flights and costs we decided to drive down. What a trip. I got into the office with the Vice President and he asked me what I thought I could do for them? I told him the truth. I had no idea what I could do until I knew what they did. This was before computers and web pages so I didn’t know a thing about their company. A real no no. I told him I was an expert on self-esteem and he said he wasn’t interested in self-esteem. He was interested in selling clothing. I told him women buy more clothing when their self-esteem is high and there are fewer returns. They buy because they like and want the outfit not because the sale of the outfit makes them feel good momentarily.

At the end of the meeting he asked me if I could write a newsletter for them. I emphatically said “yes” even though I had never written a newsletter in my life. I did not have a desk top publishing program, much less a computer. I had written many articles for magazines so I knew I could do the writing. But without a second thought I said “yes, give me six weeks to have something on your desk.”

We left the office and I just knew that my friend was right. I was a perfect fit for this company. I knew it before they knew it. I did not know where this would lead but I knew I needed to see it through and I knew without a doubt that I was the person to do it. Other friends and family told me I was crazy but I just knew it was right and I believed in my abilities. I also knew that what I didn’t know how to do I would quickly learn how to do.

2.    Take Action!

“You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” —Wayne Gretsky

Many people talk about what they want to do or are going to do. Their ideas are great but they never take action on any of them. If they do begin to take action and meet with an obstacle they stop. This should be a red flag that they have not completely met the challenge of step number one—Believe in yourself. Fall on your face several times if you must but take ACTION. Sometimes people are so focused on what they want and the way they want it that they don’t realize opportunities to take action toward their dreams and desires are all around them.

When I got home from my meeting with Catherine’s I quickly researched computers. Did I want a Mac or a PC? Once I got the computer I researched page layout programs and brought myself up to speed on how to use both. I then wrote some articles, laid them out in the program and voila, Catherines received the mock-up of the first newsletter with two days to spare.

I had a great rapport with the Director of Advertising and she mentioned in passing that she had been trying to convince the owner of the store that they should have a national spokesperson. She had interviewed many high profile women including the three top plus size super models but did not think any of them were right until she met me. She wanted someone with a knowledge of fashion which all the other women had hands down over me. But unlike the VP who was a male she understood the importance of high self-esteem for women and she realized that I could bring something to the table that none of the others could. She just had to convince corporate that I was the right gal for the job. I already knew I was the one the second she mentioned it.

3.    Persevere and never, ever give up.

“Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th.  — Julie Andrews

It is unlikely that everything will be exactly as you envision it. We do not usually move in a direct line toward our goals and dreams. It is more a three steps forward, 2 steps back side to side approach. You must continue to persevere. Before you know it, you will have met your goal and will need to reach for new heights.

Catherines started by hiring me to do their newsletter then they hired me to do talks here and there. Finally they brought me on board to launch their new Body Basics line. I started booking TV and radio to promote my appearances and within a year I signed a contract as their national spokesperson. There were ups and downs along the way to signing the agreement but I knew that I was the right person for the job, I took action and I never gave up.

Unbeknownst to me that job opened the door to my next incarnation. It turns out I had all the tools and skill sets I needed I just did not know how I could create a marketable package with them until I stepped into each scenario.

Follow these three steps and you will definitely be successful in life. You may find you are taken in a direction that is different than the one you initially moved toward, but it will be more rewarding and you will definitely move into your passion.

Debbie Darling, ©2014 The Presentation Pros

Deborah Darling is the owner and president of The Presentation Pros, a soft skills training company empowering people with the skill sets to deliver their message with power and persuasion. She is a professional development coach, international best-selling author, speaker and trainer. To book a training or keynote go to HERE.

Color plays a very important role in our lives. It not only makes a fashion statement, but it can also possess healing properties. Color can be one of our greatest assets, or strongest liabilities, for sending subliminal messages about ourselves. Wearing the right colors can make us look alive, energetic and exciting while wearing the wrong colors can make us look sickly and ashen.

So much has been written about being a summer, winter, fall or spring that we have lost sight of the fact that all colors exist in all seasons. I hear women say things like "I am a...and I don't look good in..." The truth is that just because one shade of green makes you look bad does not mean that every shade of green will do the same. Since all colors exist in all seasons, just keep looking for the shade that corresponds with your most flattering "season" of color.

While men do not have as many colors to choose from in business attire as women, they do have the same challenges when it comes to business casual and casual attire.

Here is a simple way to find your own good colors. In natural daylight with a clean face (no makeup), place a bright white towel across your shoulders. Pull clothes from your closet and move them along the side of your face, finishing under your chin. Be sure to pay attention to what is happening to the skin tone in your lower jaw and neck area. A good color for you will appear as a pink cast and give your skin a pleasing appearance, somewhat like a healthy glow. A bad color tends to make your skin have a yellow cast, as if you are not feeling well. If you have any clothes that fall into the bad category, replace them with a more flattering color or at least wear them with a scarf or jacket in one of your good colors. You can wear any color on your body as long as the color nearest your face is a good color for you.

In addition to flattering our hair and skin tones, colors can also complement our mood or personality. Wearing specific colors can help us project certain attributes about ourselves. Throughout history various cultures have come to associate different colors with certain characteristics. Using the following information can help you influence the way you will be perceived by most people in our modern, western society.

Red represents force of will, strength, vitality, courage, power, passion and energy. This is truly the color of a well-tailored power suit for women and a tie for men. Choose this color when you want to get attention. This is a take action color.

Green is associated with healing, teaching, balance, health and growth. It can create a sense of freedom, balance, harmony and love. Wear this color when you are in a teaching mode. It will create the impression of coming from the heart.

Purple is associated with intuition, perception, awakening, self-respect and tolerance. Wear this color when you wish to bring about a sense of tranquility.

Blue is associated with communication, patience, tact, devotion, and trust. Wear this color when you want to show that you are trustworthy and dependable. Navy is a great color for job interviews.

Yellow is associated with mental power, luminosity and joy. It can create determination. Wear this color when you want to absorb or learn new things. Earth tones can fall into this category as well. This is also a take action color.

Orange represents creativity, optimism, sociability and artistic qualities. Wear this color when you are feeling creative or to generate optimism.

White is associated with protection, truth, honesty, illumination and a sense of being highly motivated. Wear this color when you wish to motivate or send a message of being honest.

Black is a power color and should be worn if you wish to present yourself as the authority in a situation. It is an authoritative, career color. If you want audience participation or interaction, you should avoid outfits that are all black. It is easy to build a wardrobe around black because it goes with everything and can easily be brightened up with other colors. It is also a great color for traveling since it does not show dirt.

Eclectic colors such as parrot green, cobalt blue, raspberry, bright yellow, etc. should be worn when you want electricity flowing in your life -when you want to be electric or "on".

Try to use some of these color concepts around your home or workplace as well as in your wardrobe. Remember that you can use colors as accents to help create the environment which you are trying to achieve for yourself in any given moment. Colors have a special power to influence us on many levels. Chosen carefully they not only help us look our best but help enhance our individual traits or create a mood that is conducive to learning, socializing or brainstorming. With a little practice, you can knowingly choose to create your life "in living color".

Debbie Darling, ©2013 The Presentation Pros

FIND OUT MORE IN MY BOOK "DRESS TO LOOK YOUR BEST."