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  The Presentation Pros

Five Lessons About How To Treat People

11/30/2013

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I  have seen this article posted many times over the past several years and found it both inspirational and motivational each time I would read it. I never thought to repost it because it always said Author Unknown. But since we are headed into the holiday season I believe it is important to remember that relationships are really what this season is all about. Kindness and consideration can take you to places that money can't buy. Be kind to yourself and others and remember to do the right thing even when you think no one is watching. You may be the only one who knows you extended a kindness to another, but your heart will be filled with joy for having done so.  From all of us at The Presentation Pros Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones.

Debbie Darling, ©2013 The Presentation Pros
Holiday Etiquette

Five Lessons About How To Treat People
-- Author Unknown

1. First Important Lesson - "Know The Cleaning Lady"
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. Second Important Lesson - "Pickup In The Rain"

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.

A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home.

A special note was attached. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3. Third Important Lesson - "Remember Those Who Serve"
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "50¢," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "35¢!" she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.

When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4. Fourth Important Lesson - "The Obstacles In Our Path"

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand - "Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition."

5. Fifth Important Lesson - "Giving When It Counts"
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save her."

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?".

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

See our Corporate Gifting page for ideas how you can help others enrich their lives this Holiday Season.
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Are You Credible?

11/8/2013

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One of the most important qualities you can possess is credibility. If you're not credible, you might as well toss in the towel. Your ability to get people to rally behind you in any way shape or form is a direct result of how credible you are.

We live in an age where we have access to everything almost immediately. This brings great ease and accessibility to our lives but it also brings great responsibility.  You don't know when a picture, a voice mail, an email, tweet, Facebook post etc. is going to betray you.  Never before has it been more important to show your best self at all times, even to your friends and family. You can't afford to let your guard down at any time. The ramifications of doing so are far too great.

I recently got involved with social media and have been amazed at how many people diminish their credibility on a regular basis. Young people on Facebook think nothing of expressing themselves with four letter words or pictures of hardy partying. The four letter words may be more happenstance than they were in days past but their use still greatly diminishes credibility. I enjoy a fun night out as much as the next person but I am not going to be uploading a series of drunken photos of myself to Facebook and I am certainly not going to say whatever that comes to mind as though it is okay to openly speak my mind because I am “just being myself” with friends and family.

Most employers today want to take a look at your social media sites before they offer employment. While you may think you are just expressing yourself naturally, the employer is wondering if you are the type of person that they want to hire for the job. Is your vocabulary so limited that the only way to express yourself is with four letter words? Do you spend so much time partying that you may choose partying over working late to get the job done?  Perhaps young people do not realize the importance of credibility yet, because they have not been in the work force long enough to see the effects that it has on a person's ability to advance in the ranks.

The word credibility comes from the Latin root “credere” which means to believe. When someone possesses credibility we believe in them and the message they deliver. There are many components to credibility but there are four components that we have control over. They are:
  • Expertise
  • Integrity
  • Openness
  • Dynamism 

When we think of Expertise, we think of the level of knowledge that a person possesses; their competency in general and their ability to get the job done. This is extremely important in your quest to achieve credibility, but by itself is not enough.

Integrity is such an important element of credibility. A person's integrity tells us how truthful, trustworthy and dependable they are. If we can't trust them or they have let us down before, their credibility is diminished in our eyes.

Openness is paramount in our ability to be perceived as credible. When we are open, we are willing to listen to all points of view and we are able to show our vulnerability. By vulnerability, I do not mean show all your flaws. What I mean is show them the REAL you. Share your heart. 

John Kotter, a Harvard professor and an expert on change management and leadership says that in his opinion the most important quality a leader can possess is vulnerability.

And lastly Dynamism is your passion, energy, inner fire and commitment. People need to experience this first hand. It does not mean you have to be larger than life. You can possess bold dynamism, like President Clinton or you can have quiet dynamism like His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Two opposing sides of the spectrum, but both equally effective.

The challenge to credibility is that you do not decide if you are credible. The people you are talking to, posting to, emailing, leaving a voice mail message for, etc. - are the ones who decide if you're credible or not. And to make matters worse, you can lose credibility in an instant and once it is lost, it is very difficult to get back.

So think twice before you decide to swear online, post a less than flattering picture of yourself or someone else, or say something unflattering about another person. When we speak ill of another it says more about us then it says about them. Make sure you take the time to check your email over or listen to your voice mail message to make sure it expresses exactly the message you were hoping to convey.   Make sure your messages are free of any grammatical errors, expletives or jargon. Be mindful that you are about to send a message out to the world at large. As yourself will that message enhance or diminish your credibility? The choice is yours. The choice will ultimately create your brand. Now if that is not great responsibility I do not know what is.

Debbie Darling, ©2013 The Presentation Pros
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    Deborah Darling

    Deborah Darling is a professional development coach, trainer and an internationally acclaimed best selling author and speaker. She is an expert in the fields of personal image, self-esteem, personal growth and development. She is the author of five books, including Upsize Woman in a Downsize World™, the international best seller Dress to Look Your Best: Fashion Secrets the Experts Don't Share and her new book PRESENT: 7 Keys to a Powerful, Persuasive Presentation. She conducts powerful, provocative workshops on all aspects of communication and personal growth and transformation. She has trained for many Fortune 500 companies in all aspects of communication and empowers her clients with the skill sets to deliver their messages with power and persuasion.
    From 1997-2002 she was the national spokesperson for the largest retailer of women's plus size fashions in the world. In addition, she's been an on-camera and voice over personality for some of America's best known companies, and has appeared on numerous radio and television shows, including Hard Copy, The Richard Simmons Show and The Oprah Winfrey Show. Debbie is a facilitator for both Jack Canfield's self-esteem seminars and Dr. Teri Mahaney's Change Your Mind program.

    The workshops she conducts give her the opportunity to use her skills in helping her clients identify their greatest strengths and provide them with tools to achieve their full potential. She loves to help people find their voice and gain an open, confident credible presence. Debbie's ability to recognize and build on others' fundamental strengths provides immediate results for her clients. She looks forward to working with you to achieve your goals.

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