The Law of Attraction tells us that we create everything in our lives and I believe this is mostly true. But how about those things that we individually have no control over like war and famine, buses being late, colleagues not completing their work, people saying and doing things that we wish they would not say or do. There are just some events we cannot control.
Jack Canfield taught me an equation years ago that has had a profound effect on me as a person and a trainer. The equation is E+R=O. An Event + a Response = an Outcome.
Most people spend all their energy trying to manipulate an event. They don't realize that the event is out of their control. How often do you hear people trying to change the behaviour of another person. They wonder why the person is upset with them. After all they are just trying to make that individual a better person. Well people are upset because they feel manipulated. If you want a different outcome, you have to change the only piece of the equation that you have total control over—your response to the event.
In his book “Man's Search for Meaning” Viktor Frankl talks about the holocaust and what he felt was the deciding factor as to who made it through the horrific atrocities and those who did not. No one could stop what was happening. Those who gave up and felt that it was hopeless did not make it and those who continued to look for the good and believe in a better tomorrow did. He gives total credit for his survival to his attitude regarding the events. He created a different outcome due to his response.
Imagine this scenario. You pull out in traffic and inadvertently cut in front of another car. The person in the other car gives you the finger. You get so angry you in turn give them the finger back. The driver in the other car starts screaming obscenitites. This makes you madder and you start swearing back. Before you know it you aren't paying attention and you run through a red light and get stopped by the police. You get a ticket and are late for work. The entire day you are angry and upset. You can't seem to shake it. You could not control how the other guy reacted when you pulled out but a different response would have created a different outcome.
Let's take a look at the same scenario. You pull out the guy gives you the finger and instead of giving him the finger back, you shrug your shoulders and mouth the word “sorry”. You literally watch his anger disipate and you go on about your day. You did not get all stirred up with anger, you did not run the red light or get the ticket. You were on time for work and the day went very well. An entirely different outcome all because you changed one little thing—your response.
So the next time life thows a left hook at you, don't spend your time worrying about the hook. Remember it is how you respond to that hook that matters. Make sure you get the outcome you want by responding in the appropriate way. When you take control of your reactions you take control of your reality. It is not the events in our lives that create our reality it is our reactions or responses to those events that create our reality. Create a brighter tomorrow by responding better today.
Debbie Darling, ©2013 The Presentation Pros