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  The Presentation Pros

Here’s Looking at You Kid

7/22/2015

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eye contact to build rapport
Eye contact is one of the fastest ways to build rapport with an audience and yet I am always amazed when I hear a workshop participant tell me that they have been told to look at the person’s forehead or above their head or to imagine they are naked or a baby. Not only do these techniques not work, they will actually have you as the presenter becoming more nervous. Making eye contact with someone is about making a connection. It is about seeing the person and knowing the person has seen you. You can’t build rapport with someone who is looking at your forehead or above your head and you can’t stay focused on them if you are imagining them as naked or a baby. You need to be looking right into their eyes to build rapport.

I am sure you have all had the experience of talking with someone who does not look you in the eyes. When it happens to me, my immediate reaction is “what are they trying to hide?”, or “what are they telling me that isn’t true?” I know that some people find eye contact to be very difficult, but I also know how important it is. This is something everyone should work on. Lack of eye contact makes you appear as though you have a lack of self-confidence, you’re shifty and perhaps even untrustworthy. This is true whether you are having a one on one conversation or are speaking to a group. If you want someone to trust you, agree with you, believe in you and find you to be a credible source, eye contact is a must. 

Eye contact helps reduce anxiety. When you are making eye contact with an individual your presentation becomes more conversational than presentational. It’s impossible to make a connection with everyone in a large group at once but if you make a connection one at a time, you will feel far less nervous. It also helps to put the audience at ease. People who receive good eye contact understand the presentation better and have the feeling that you are talking directly to them.

Good eye contact helps you stay in control. When people do not feel as though they are being seen and no connection is being made they have less investment in being in the audience. There is more likelihood that they will start their own side chatter and become disruptive. This distracts other members of the audience and takes the attention off of you and your message.

If you are speaking to a large group don’t limit your eye contact to just one or two people. They may become very uncomfortable with you staring at them. Be careful not to make your eye contact mechanical. Don’t do a mechanical sweep of the audience. Start with someone in the front center and then move to the back side and then the front. You can start anywhere just make sure you don’t go row by row—make it random. The good news about eye contact in a group is that when you focus on one person the people around that person feel as though you are focusing on them as well. So you really get the benefit of making many connections when you connect with an individual in any given area of the group.

If you are answering questions make sure you start and finish your answer with the person who asked the question but connect with other people during your response as well. In this way you bring the entire audience into the exchange and keep them interested. You can lose people pretty quickly in Q&A if you don’t stay connected.

The key to making great eye contact is to make sure that you make the connection with one person at a time. When you know you have seen them and they have seen you (about 3-5 seconds) you can move onto creating the next connection. Good eye contact and an engaging smile will work miracles for you when you are presenting. There is no way to have effective communication without building rapport and the fastest way to build rapport is through the connection that eye contact makes. So here’s looking at you kid!

Debbie Darling, ©2015 The Presentation Pros
Read more of The Presentation Pros blog HERE.


Deborah Darling is the owner and president of The Presentation Pros, a soft skills training company empowering people with the skill sets to deliver their message with power and persuasion. She is a professional development coach, international best-selling author, speaker and trainer. To book a training or keynote go to HERE.

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    Deborah Darling

    Deborah Darling is a professional development coach, trainer and an internationally acclaimed best selling author and speaker. She is an expert in the fields of personal image, self-esteem, personal growth and development. She is the author of five books, including Upsize Woman in a Downsize World™, the international best seller Dress to Look Your Best: Fashion Secrets the Experts Don't Share and her new book PRESENT: 7 Keys to a Powerful, Persuasive Presentation. She conducts powerful, provocative workshops on all aspects of communication and personal growth and transformation. She has trained for many Fortune 500 companies in all aspects of communication and empowers her clients with the skill sets to deliver their messages with power and persuasion.
    From 1997-2002 she was the national spokesperson for the largest retailer of women's plus size fashions in the world. In addition, she's been an on-camera and voice over personality for some of America's best known companies, and has appeared on numerous radio and television shows, including Hard Copy, The Richard Simmons Show and The Oprah Winfrey Show. Debbie is a facilitator for both Jack Canfield's self-esteem seminars and Dr. Teri Mahaney's Change Your Mind program.

    The workshops she conducts give her the opportunity to use her skills in helping her clients identify their greatest strengths and provide them with tools to achieve their full potential. She loves to help people find their voice and gain an open, confident credible presence. Debbie's ability to recognize and build on others' fundamental strengths provides immediate results for her clients. She looks forward to working with you to achieve your goals.

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