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  The Presentation Pros

New Year, New You

1/1/2014

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New Year
Once again it's that time of year when we make our resolutions about all the things we intend to accomplish in the coming days, weeks and months. We begin new budgets, diets, exercise/fitness programs, set new goals, dream new dreams, make fresh starts, etc. The New Year brings with it, the opportunity to begin with a clean slate. It is always cause for feeling joyful at the infinite possibilities awaiting us. So why, with these infinite possibilities of hope and joy before us, do we continue to experience the same negative experiences day after day, year after year?

The answer is really quite simple. No matter how hopeful, joyful, abundant, beautiful, magnificent, loving etc. the New Year may be, we are only able to experience that part of the New Year that mirrors our belief systems. So when we bring our old negative belief systems into the New Year, we continue to experience negative events in our lives. When we decide to heal those negative beliefs and patterns we begin to see subtle shifts in perception which in turn color our new year's experiences with a more vibrant hue.

It is said that there is only one thing in life that we truly have 100% control over and that is how we feel about someone or something. We are not given full control over the events that occur in our lives. We cannot change what someone may choose to say or do to us; however we do have total control over our response to those created events. And in changing our response to any given event we can change the outcome.

Jack Canfield taught an equation to me years ago that I use often as a trainer to help people achieve their desired goals. The equation is:
E +R = O. An Event + a Response = an Outcome.

It's a simple equation, yet one that is so often forgotten. We often find ourselves reacting to events without thinking of the outcomes we wish to achieve. Thus, we allow ourselves to fall back into our already existing negative, limited programming and are totally blinded to the limitless possibilities available to us.

Let's take a look at an example. Let's say you and your boss are speaking in the hall at work when your boss's boss appears and requests the report that he had been promised several days ago. Your boss begins to tell his boss that you were put in charge of that report and just mentioned you needed a bit more time. He could count on getting it tomorrow. This is the first time you've heard about this report and while you realize your boss is in a bind you're not happy that he's used you as his scapegoat. You have choices to make here. You could say "You never told me about any report." Or you could say to your boss's boss "I promise we'll have it for you tomorrow and I apologize for the delay." Before you respond, think of what outcome you hope to achieve here. Your Response is what will determine a positive or negative Outcome.

It is hard to identify our own limiting beliefs but if we take a look at everyone around us, and I do mean everyone, they will give us a clue into our true core beliefs. Like a mirror, they reflect back to us those qualities within ourselves that we need to show gratitude for or those qualities that we deem less than loving in ourselves and need to forgive.

We only see those things outside ourselves that match our already exiting belief system. If we have seen a good deal of negative happenings in 2013 we need to change some beliefs at the core level for 2014 so that we will begin to see a different picture. We change the world by changing ourselves. In believing in our own infinite possibilities we emit a loving energy that is contagious to all those around us.

If you are seeing a lot of judgmental people everywhere you look, see where you are being judgmental-is it toward others or are you judging yourself too harshly. There is a mirror there somewhere for you to see and heal. Imagine that during the entire month of January 2014 every person you meet is your private healer. When you see something pleasing in them, you are really seeing something pleasing in yourself that you need to acknowledge and when you see something you detest that too is a mirror for you on some level. Dig deep to find what the message means. I promise you will begin to see a shift toward a better life when you heal the negative beliefs.

Next, take the time in every encounter to realize that each person has a unique perspective on life, and while not necessarily the same as ours, just as valid. When we do this, we begin to see the miracles in every human being with whom we come in contact. When we see the Divine in others we more clearly see the Divine in ourselves.

This year, let's remember that we only see those things outside ourselves that match our already exiting belief system. If we have seen a good deal of negative happenings in 2013 we need to change some beliefs at the core level for 2014 so that we will begin to see a different picture. We change the world by changing ourselves. In believing in our own infinite possibilities we emit a loving energy that is contagious to all those around us.

Let this year be a year of non-judgment, realizing that when we judge another we are really judging ourselves. It is our lack of self-worth that makes us judge another in order to feel better about ourselves. When we remove judgment of others we remove self-judgment as well.

This year, remove the word "can't" from your vocabulary. Studies prove the word "can't", weakens your muscles. The word "can" strengthens your muscles and your self-worth. Let this be the year of many "can" statements. Let 2014 be the year you begin saying nice things about yourself to yourself. When you look in a mirror, instead of berating your appearance, find something nice to say. Take five minutes before bedtime to look into your eyes in a mirror and say loving things about yourself to yourself.

Let 2014 be the year of accomplishments. Go out and take the first steps toward something you've always dreamt of doing. If you've always wanted to fly your own plane-sign up for a flying lesson. If you've always wanted to write a bestselling novel-start it. Make this the year of action toward your goals and dreams.

Let this be the year of giving. Give of your time, love and efforts to those who are in need of your skills. Share your gifts with others out of the kindness and generosity of your heart. Make 2014 the year you truly leave old negative non-productive belief systems behind and open your eyes, heart, soul and world to the infinite possibilities residing within you, just waiting to spring forth in all their splendor. The infinite possibilities that are your birthright and yours for merely changing one little thing in life-your response!

Deborah Darling is the owner and president of The Presentation Pros, a soft skills training company empowering people with the skill sets to deliver their message with power and persuasion. She is a professional development coach, international best-selling author, speaker and trainer. To book a training or keynote go to HERE.

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    Deborah Darling

    Deborah Darling is a professional development coach, trainer and an internationally acclaimed best selling author and speaker. She is an expert in the fields of personal image, self-esteem, personal growth and development. She is the author of five books, including Upsize Woman in a Downsize World™, the international best seller Dress to Look Your Best: Fashion Secrets the Experts Don't Share and her new book PRESENT: 7 Keys to a Powerful, Persuasive Presentation. She conducts powerful, provocative workshops on all aspects of communication and personal growth and transformation. She has trained for many Fortune 500 companies in all aspects of communication and empowers her clients with the skill sets to deliver their messages with power and persuasion.
    From 1997-2002 she was the national spokesperson for the largest retailer of women's plus size fashions in the world. In addition, she's been an on-camera and voice over personality for some of America's best known companies, and has appeared on numerous radio and television shows, including Hard Copy, The Richard Simmons Show and The Oprah Winfrey Show. Debbie is a facilitator for both Jack Canfield's self-esteem seminars and Dr. Teri Mahaney's Change Your Mind program.

    The workshops she conducts give her the opportunity to use her skills in helping her clients identify their greatest strengths and provide them with tools to achieve their full potential. She loves to help people find their voice and gain an open, confident credible presence. Debbie's ability to recognize and build on others' fundamental strengths provides immediate results for her clients. She looks forward to working with you to achieve your goals.

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