All confidence is not created equal. Insecure people will often put on a mask of confidence that projects itself in an entirely different fashion. This mask cannot be maintained for long before someone is able to pierce the veil of illusion. Genuinely confident people inspire others with their confidence and make things happen.
The mind is a powerful machine. Thoughts create our emotions, emotions create our actions and our actions or lack thereof, create our reality. Thoughts create verbal, visual and behavioral choices for the positive or the negative. The importance of the thoughts we think and the words we use cannot be underestimated. Genuinely confident people send out visual, verbal and behavioral cues that let people know they have a “can do” attitude. They can and will find a way to get the job done and won’t give up until it’s done and done right. Their confidence exudes credibility and inspires others with the confidence that they can and will do what they set out to.
So what sets truly confident people apart from others? According to Dr. Travis Bradberry, the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, confident people possess the following qualities:
1. They Get Their Happiness from Within
In order to be confident in what you do, you have to be happy with who you are. Happiness is a critical element of confidence.
2. They Don’t Pass Judgment
Confident people don’t need to put someone down in order to feel better about themselves. They know everyone has something of value to offer and they don’t pass judgment.
3. They Don’t Say Yes Unless They Really Want To
Confident people have the self-esteem to clearly say “no”. They don’t mask their “nos” in transparent excuses. They are aware that saying “no” is healthy and affords them the time they need to work on the projects they are already committed to.
4. They Listen More than They SpeaK
Confident people spend more time actively listening to others. They listen more than they speak.
5. They Speak with Certainty
Confident people are more assertive and speak with conviction.
6. They Don’t Seek Attention
Confident people don’t have anything to prove. Their confidence speaks for them. They know that being yourself is much more effective than trying to prove your importance. They are masters of diffusing attention. “When they’re receiving attention for an accomplishment, they quickly shift the focus to all the people who worked hard to help get them there. They don’t crave approval or praise because they draw their self-worth from within.”
7. They Aren’t Afraid to Be Wrong
Confident people aren’t afraid to share their ideas and opinions. They know that if they are not correct, they will have learned something either way. “Self-assured people know what they are capable of and don’t treat being wrong as a personal slight.”
8. They Stick Their Necks Out
Confident people don’t spend time worrying about everything that can go wrong when an opportunity arises. They tackle the opportunity full speed ahead. They know that if they don’t try, they can’t succeed.
9. They Celebrate Other People
Confident people have no need to steal the spotlight from others. They draw their self-worth from within which allows them to focus outward and see what others bring to the party. Confident people praise others for their contributions.
10. They Aren’t Afraid to Ask for Help
Confident people know their strengths and weaknesses. They know that asking for help in those areas where they are weak shows strength. They also seize the opportunity to learn from someone with greater expertise in an area they could use improvement in.
Confident people focus on what they want. They keep a positive vision in their mind of the outcome they wish to achieve. They make sure they are sending out credible messages visually, verbally and behaviorally at all times. They don’t allow themselves to be taken off track by others. They aren’t afraid to fail. They know that failure will teach them something as well. And lastly, genuinely confident people possess humility. They are more interested in talking about the successes of others than their own. More interested in giving praise to those who helped on a project they brought to fruition than expounding on what they brought to the project. They let success speak for itself.
Lots of people are born with beauty and talent but if they don’t believe they are beautiful and talented they will not carry themselves in a manner that exudes the confidence they need to let the world see them in their true light. We all aspire to being confident. This is proven by all the people who attempt to create the illusion of it. Try incorporating some of the above characteristics into your life and you too may become more confident.
By the way, a good method to gain more confidence is to create a Gratitude Journal and an Accomplishment Log. Write down 100 things you are grateful for and 100 accomplishments you have already achieved in life. They don’t have to be large. Confidence begins with small steps.
Debbie Darling, ©2015 The Presentation Pros
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