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  The Presentation Pros

You are Only as Beautiful/Handsome as You Think You Are

5/14/2014

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Inner Beauty
We all know beauty when we see it, but defining beauty is something else entirely. Webster’s defines beauty as “the quality which makes an object seem pleasing or satisfying in a certain way; those qualities which give pleasure to the esthetic sense, as by line, color, form, texture, proportion, rhythmic motion, tone, etc., or by behavior, attitude, etc.” We all grew up hearing phrases like “beauty is skin deep,” and “beauty is as beauty does,” but what is beauty? What exactly is that certain quality or qualities that determine if beauty is present in a person, place or thing? Perhaps the most popular phrase regarding beauty is also the most accurate—“beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Or is it?

How many times have you met someone that you considered beautiful or handsome and yet once you really got to know them they no longer seemed attractive to you? Their personality had totally colored their looks to the negative. They went from being gorgeous to downright unattractive in your eyes. In fact, you couldn’t even decipher what you had initially found to be attractive in them. Or perhaps, just the opposite has happened. You meet someone who at first glance is most unattractive, yet once you get to know them they become remarkably attractive in your sight. Their personality colors their looks to the positive.

The above examples would indicate that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. But if that’s the case, then two questions immediately come to my mind. 1). What beauty is the beholder really seeing? and 2). Is the beholder entirely responsible for seeing the beauty that he/she beholds?

All dissatisfaction with your life can be attributed to the difference between what is really true and what you think is true. How you see life cannot be more or less than what you believe it to be, and who you are and what you believe to be true is something that you have made up. Your perception is a reflection of your beliefs. In fact, perception is your belief projected out into the world. Let’s take a look at truth versus perception.

Imagine for a moment that you are standing in the middle of an unfamiliar room (truth). You cannot move and you have blinders on (just like they put on horses). A blind man asks you to describe the room to him. You describe everything in your line of vision with great detail for the man. Just when you are convinced that you have depicted the total truth about this room, the floor beneath you shifts ninety degrees and you are viewing the room (truth) from a new perspective. You are now able to describe more of the room to the man. When you think you have now fully described the entire room, the floor once again shifts 90 degrees beneath your feet to reveal a new perspective once again. This continues until you have seen the entire 360 degrees of the room (truth).

In all of the above instances you thought that your limited perception was the total truth until you saw more of the room. You hopefully realize that even after seeing the total room you have not seen the house, or the land it sits on, or the town the house is in, the state, the country, the Universe etc. There is always a higher truth.

When you are describing for someone that part of your truth (room) that you can presently see, you are describing your immediate truth or your perception. You would have to turn full circle to see the whole truth. Two people viewing the same room from similar perspectives would still describe the room differently depending upon their belief systems and those things that they hold to be important to them.

Everything that seems to happen in the outside world is a reflection of what is going on in the subconscious part of the mind. The subconscious holds your beliefs of truth and bears total responsibility for your life experiences. Think of the mind as being the greatest computer ever made. The conscious mind is like a window to the world. It becomes aware of new things and compares it to the already existing data in the subconscious mind to decide what to retain and what to reject. If your hard drive (subconscious) is programmed with negative beliefs then you will keep seeing negative things (conscious). Everything that you are observing is a witness for what presently exists in your belief system. Knowing this information, let’s go back to my two questions.

What beauty is the beholder really seeing? He or she is seeing the only beauty there really is—Inner Beauty. That is the incredible beauty that comes from radiating the joy from within oneself. Is the beholder entirely responsible for seeing the beauty that he/she beholds? No. Each and every one of us is responsible for what we project out into the world. If we believe we are ugly, fat, stupid, unworthy, unlovable etc. then the rest of the world will honor our beliefs and feel the same toward us. Each and every one of us is responsible for finding our inner joy and projecting it out to the world so that everybody can see our inner beauty.

True beauty is both in the eye of the beholder and the beholden. True beauty is joy. True beauty is self-worth. True beauty comes from believing in yourself. You are worthy, smart, creative and capable. Don’t forget that. Stand tall in the light of who you are. What is beautiful? You are beautiful. You are the definition of beauty—Believe it!

Debbie Darling, ©2014 The Presentation Pros
Read more of The Presentation Pros blog HERE.

Deborah Darling is the owner and president of The Presentation Pros, a soft skills training company empowering people with the skill sets to deliver their message with power and persuasion. She is a professional development coach, international best-selling author, speaker and trainer. To book a training or keynote go to HERE.

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    Deborah Darling

    Deborah Darling is a professional development coach, trainer and an internationally acclaimed best selling author and speaker. She is an expert in the fields of personal image, self-esteem, personal growth and development. She is the author of five books, including Upsize Woman in a Downsize World™, the international best seller Dress to Look Your Best: Fashion Secrets the Experts Don't Share and her new book PRESENT: 7 Keys to a Powerful, Persuasive Presentation. She conducts powerful, provocative workshops on all aspects of communication and personal growth and transformation. She has trained for many Fortune 500 companies in all aspects of communication and empowers her clients with the skill sets to deliver their messages with power and persuasion.
    From 1997-2002 she was the national spokesperson for the largest retailer of women's plus size fashions in the world. In addition, she's been an on-camera and voice over personality for some of America's best known companies, and has appeared on numerous radio and television shows, including Hard Copy, The Richard Simmons Show and The Oprah Winfrey Show. Debbie is a facilitator for both Jack Canfield's self-esteem seminars and Dr. Teri Mahaney's Change Your Mind program.

    The workshops she conducts give her the opportunity to use her skills in helping her clients identify their greatest strengths and provide them with tools to achieve their full potential. She loves to help people find their voice and gain an open, confident credible presence. Debbie's ability to recognize and build on others' fundamental strengths provides immediate results for her clients. She looks forward to working with you to achieve your goals.

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